I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
