the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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