I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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