Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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