wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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