And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
