Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
