Where did you get a picture of my penis
im drinking this country out of the recession.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
