And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize