Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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