seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize