Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
