i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
