In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
