zippers are such a cool invention
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize