So drunk its hurt
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
