I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
