Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
