Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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