i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Let's paint friendship bongs
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
