so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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