32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
