I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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