ADVERTISEMENT

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with

  Fav 3 815 2329

  share tweet
  

• (352): View more from Florida

  He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.

  Fav 8 902 3357

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (212): View more from New York

  You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.

  Fav 15 1105 4941

  share tweet
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester

  Fav 19 1197 4859

  share tweet
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.

  Fav 10 4249 1232

  share tweet
  

• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt

  Fav 4 4126 1851

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.

  Fav 4 2072 1148

  share tweet
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.

  Fav 8 2217 1650

  share tweet
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think

  Fav 7 653 1742

  share tweet
  

• (416): View more from Toronto

  I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears

  Fav 15 1112 1900

  share tweet
  

• (905): View more from Ontario

  110% paid for our cab with a lap dance

  Fav 8 1747 808

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (812): View more from Indiana

  Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone

  Fav 4 731 343

  share tweet
  

• (864): View more from South Carolina

  SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..

  Fav 1 229 424

  share tweet
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions

  Fav 0 275 191

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (630): View more from Illinois

  Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.

  Fav 0 65 4

  share tweet
  

Randomize