Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
