I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize