I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
