I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
