All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
