i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
