Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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