went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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