dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We have started to decorate penises.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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