i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
