Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
