Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
