I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
