Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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