come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
