The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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