My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
