I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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