i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm getting married
To pizza
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
