The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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