I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
