dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
