You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
