Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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