He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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