Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
