would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
