Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
you made out with another girl for some wings
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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