He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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