As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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