i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I got her a Nickelback box set.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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