Me too!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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