i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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