He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Every concussion has its silver lining
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
