Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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