when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
