Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
