Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
